Reaching way back to 2005, Fall. I am in the middle of a nice two week vacation in Florida diving assorted mainstream cave as befits my experience level at the time. Late into the second week, my back akeing from loading, unloading and diving double steel 130s for 8-10 days in a row. I carefully picked my way down the path to a fantastic cave called Cow Springs with my buddy following. The pool of crystal clear blue water looks so inviting nestled in a wooded depression. I cannot wait to jump in and do another fantastic cave dive.
Back then I was a firm believer in team diveing up to and including a GUE card I was very proud of in my wallet. I had like minded team mates and I refused to do "hard" dives with anyone who believed otherwise. In fact I went so far as to ridicule people who didn't dive in the manner I dove. That aside, my buddy at the time was also (and still is) a believer in team diving and all which it entails. His skills, in an honest evaluation, were not in the same place mine were but he has gone on to peruse GUE training and I believe has has come a long way in his diving and comfort. We splashed in, did the whole dance with 1/3rds and prep work to go diveing. I set the reel in around the corner then down to the gold line. Everything was flowing smoothly until we hit the first major restriction.
My backup reg started free flowing madly out of nowhere. I backed out of the restriction, turned to my buddy and we worked the problem. Problem was there were two brains going. One brain was right, one was wrong and they both acted. In short order I found my self with my left post off and my right post off - in a cave - with a minor restriction and a buddy between me and the exit. Fortunately, my buddy very quickly deployed his long hose and we sorted out the problem and exited the dive. I found out there was a rock jammed in the purge valve of my backup.
This incident shook my buddy enough that he didn't and as far as I know has no cave dove since. The next day I went solo diving for the first time in a cave. What I came to realize is that no mater what, when the rubber hits the road you are alone. No mater how much I thought I wasn't at the end of the day I was. Two brains didn't help, in fact we mostly got in each others way trying to sort out the problem. A man with two watches never knows what time it is and all that. I did my next solo dive the day after. A nice simple cave dive and in complete honesty I had never felt so free, so at peace with my self and my environment or in such a zen like sate of simply being and doing.
On the long drive home from Florida I underwent some very radical shifts in my thinking. How I approached diving and diving with other people. In short my paradigm shifted drastically. I could have gone any number of ways from here but the one I chose I am happy with and never really looked back or regret my choices. I stept way back from team diving and analyzed everything I had done to date with regards to cave diving. I analyzed my gear, my dives, my skills, my experience. By the time I got home I had made my choices and those choices were to become completely self sufficient in gear and skill and diving.
Shortly after that the stars aligned and I made some key contacts in the local cave diving sceen. A type of diving that does not lend it self well to teams. That of course was sidemount diving which by nature tends to be a solo activity. A few months later I found my self alone, in a squirrelly little cave. My gear looked nothing like it did previously. My buddy was a fish that decided to follow my around. My diveing took me places I didn't even know exited and eventually to place where I am the only human to have ever seen. Every time I dive, no mater how much crap I get my ass into I have that same feeling of calmness, bliss, relaxed confidence and oneness. I don't see my self ever giving that up.
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